{SHARKS}

 shark week in our house means break out the popcorn, fuzzy blankets and dog pile on the sofa. prepare yourself to be entertained, excited and terrorized all at the same time! we freak ourselves out over these huge, murderous beasts! we wonder how some people have the guts to get into a steel cage surrounded by sharks? or float out on a steel raft, holding a very expensive camera while waiting for a great white to burst out of the water to gobble up a baby seal decoy? discovery channel's workman's comp must cost a fortune? 
and we talk about the awesome and brave photographers.  because really... without them, we would never have the chance to see such amazing (and frightening) images? :)

  and leave it up to my son to find something hysterical on the internet. like the shark week drinking soda game found here. it is pretty funny. we played... with diet pepsi of course! 



1) Drink every time you hear an Australian, South African, or British accent
2) Drink every time you see a diver in a cage.
3) When a great white is 'jumping' out of the cage, drink from when the shark exits the water til it the re-entry
4) Drink every time a person mentions chum, a shark attack statistic, or a shark fact (note: this can only happen once every person)
5) Drink every time the camera shows a surfboard or person underwater in the same frame as a shark. Also drink if they show you a chewed-up surfboard.
6) Every time a new person is interviewed, drink

7) Every time a person is declared a "shark expert," drink

8) Finish your drink at the end of the episode. Should you not finish between the end of the episode and the start of the new show, chug an extra pepsi.
9) If they mention the state you live or have a house in. Drink.
10) Drink every time the show references a new type of shark. If the shark does not attack humans (nurse shark) drink three times.
11) If a shark attacks an animal, drink until the animal dies or escapes. If the animal is a seal, finish your drink. 
12) Drink every time someone mentions punching a shark in the nose or eye to stop an attack.
13) Drink every time a Facebook friend posts a #sharkweek status on Facebook or Twitter.
14) Drink every time some one mentions "Jaws" or if the "Jaws" theme music plays then say "we are going to need a bigger boat".
15) Drink every time Andy Samberg is on TV.
16) When a shark attack victim talks about the attack, drink for 1 second per 5 stitches the victim received. If the victim is a girl or a young child, double the time.
17) Drink half of your pepsi for every limb the shark victim lost. If it happened to be their genitalia, the least you could do is drink the whole pepsi. 
18) Drink every time you see a subdued shark being poked, prodded, or given a tracking device on a boat. 

we needed to add: drink every time a family member says they will never, ever swim in the ocean! geez that stuff is scary! i remember the movie jaws vividly. i was just a kid and it terrified me. i firmly believed sharks lived in lakes, bath tubs, swimming pools, public bathrooms and under every bed in our house. this movie sent me one explicit message.

water the ocean is a scary place. because of sharks. 



so when our recent vacation spot was mentioned during shark week... 
it really freaked us out!
we swam in the ocean almost daily. usually from the boat. did we think of sharks while swimming in the ocean? oh heck yeah! we spotted several.
we watched this video taken two months earlier... in a key 15 minutes away, off shore.
geez louise! would it really be a bad thing to delete them from the food chain? 
to say we kept a constant case of the heebie jeebies would be putting it mildly.
i wondered many times if spotting pretty, colorful fish was worth risking a limb.  
the sharkiest feeling was the day we snorkeled coffin reef a coupes miles off shore.
blue water or not, i bet there were some monster sharks in these parts ;)

sharks beware. 
papa gene's noodles can turn into a weapon on a dime!


my girls and i swear we are never swimming in the ocean again... in case your wondering.
it's sadistic why we love shark week. 
oh well...it's how we bond!


The 1st of May said...

We love Shark Week too! This post CRACKS me up! Another post I'll have to share with JB when he gets home so we can laugh together! Bet there is a good bit of burpin' happening with all that soda!

The 1st of May said...

PS Good thing Shark Week was AFTER your vacation!!!

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