turtle update

as you can see this post is minus any turtle pictures. 
because aquatic turtles are a scam extremely complicated.
 a $20 turtle (which you can catch in a lake) requires a 40 gallon tank (and a room to house it in), a floating dock, a filter, a heat lamp, food, a range rover and an iphone...
in a nut turtle shell... a $200+ aquarium set up. (#saywhat)

for real? i had one as a kid. it ate lettuce and lived in a shoe box. my turtle's entire stay in my bedroom (one week) was completely free. but now, present day turtles need $200 worth of accessories?

two different salesmen at two different pet stores said aquatic turtles were not worth it were a lot more than you expect.

scrub the walls of the tank and the turtle shell weekly to ward off salmonella. (#guesswhowilldothis)

even after learning all of this, daddy agreed to get his puppy-eyed girls a turtle.
 'mommy-keeper-of-all-living-things'  rode with them for the grand pick up. jeff does hold the final decision making power in everything... except laundry and anything that requires food, then i have the power to over-rule him.

talking with the salesman, hearing all of the above, looking around at all the small animals we've owned in the past...
uhhmm-no. go ahead and cry. it's not happening.
 i've witnessed this same song and dance before 
and this family has proven to be unworthy of small animals:

  • the hamster  (who the dog killed)
  • the guinea pig  (who the dog tormented until it had a heart attack)
  • the rabbits  (who actually generated income. then the dog killed) 
  • the lamb  (who i could have killed. i would have eaten him, no worry. j/k
  • the chicks (again, the dog killed)
  • the hermit crab (don't even get me started on that horror story!)
  • and the fish... oh the fish. (#badmemories) the tank stayed slimy, a rancid smell hung in the air and they had an incredible will to live. i eventually flushed them half alive... i know, call peta, send hate mail, i'm awful. 
  • my sister's bird (ask her. i killed it. accidentally and cried for days)

when the neighbor got a puppy, my girls begged, cried and melted down for a puppy. i didn't want anything else to feed and keep alive. daddy brought home charlie. he is the one exception, i do love that dog dearly.  

but i'm a cat person. so why not beg for cats? i love cats. one can never have too many cats (#crazycatlady) they live outside, hunt for their food, ward off snakes and occasionally demand a little attention. hello perfect pet! and look at that sweet face that makes my heart tingle!

 anyway, fast forward two months. 

oliver the turtle is smelly, germy, void of personality, three times as big (yeah, they do that fast) and lives his life in mortal fear. because to our dog, oliver is a lizard hiding in a shell and must die immediately... 
and just like that, $200 flushed like the half dead fish.

so we enjoyed dinner at five guys and explained how the turtle thing was just not happening. 
chalk it up to a bad childhood memory.
 but also, be proud...
 we just saved a turtle's life.

would a new kitten make you feel better?

Living Life in the Lowcountry said...

I am laughing at the turtle story! What is it with kids and turtles? My daughter keeps asking for one and I continually tell her that I see turtles in our back yard sometimes, she can name them! NO turtles! I'm with you on the cats!

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