Wednesday, November 28, 2012

biopsy

so i have been having a few health issues lately... some of you may have heard. hopefully nothing too major.  if you live with me or talk to me on a regular basis you are sure to have heard, "i can't move my neck." since august. after a list of tests,  the day before thanksgiving i received a call from my doctor himself.  you gotta love a cliff hanger like this:

"heidi, an ultrasound has discovered  something suspicious on your thyroid and with your symptoms, we are scheduling a biopsy as soon as possible.  have a wonderful thanksgiving, we will see you next week."

oh, ok. thank you. happy thanksgiving to you too. 


i'm guessing it is a stray piece of gluten. but i must share my thyroid biopsy experience. silly me, i assumed a biopsy on my throat would include sedation. uuhhmmm, no. 

while preregistering the nurse mentioned a light breakfast...  "you mean nothing to eat after midnight, right?" that's when the sales pitch began ;) it would be quick and painless and easy. a little bee sting and a little pressure, 10 minutes max. a flu shot is worse.

i still called my doctor for a chill pill.

my mom (a prayer warrior) had talked to several friends who had undergone this type of biopsy. they all said the same thing... less painful than a flu shot. my cousin called, she's whimpy like me, same story. a cake walk, no pill needed.  it wouldn't be worth the day long hang over.


the procedure was fast tracked so quick my husband had meetings he couldn't reschedule in time. my sister and my mom tag teamed. we would treat ourselves to lunch afterwards... woo-hoo, no pill.

i was nervous, but not super scared.  the question "can you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10?"  i take it seriously. (1) i consider a stumped toe. (10) being gnawing on a bullet while someone saws off your leg.  personally i have experienced a (10) maybe twice in my life and it was not childbirth. 



 i'll admit, i'm dramatic. but this procedure had me waving the number (10) and desperately wanting to gnaw on a bullet.



turns out my procedure was a little different from everyone we talked to. i knew this when the first needle entered my throat. most thyroid problems are in nodule form. mine was on the thyroid itself. the biopsy (aka super long needle) had to go deep into my neck... several times, about a minute each time. all while the radiologist was on top of me trying to kill me pressing an ultrasound wand at my throat. i had the sensation of my oxygen being cut off, a knife slicing my throat and fluid filling my mouth.  i was supposedly numb... but i am saying no way i was totally numb.  i wanted to faint. fainting would have been good. my blood pressure dropped and by the last biopsy i almost couldn't take it.  
torture chamber
a scary, painful 10... something i will hopefully never repeat. i told the check in nurse if anyone ever asks if this biopsy is painful... don't lie please say heck yes.

and they covered my wound with a tiny band-aide. saywhat! i thought you sliced open my throat. i was so traumatized, i felt my entire head needed to be wrapped in gauze ;)

now the waiting game begins again :)

4 comments:

Cheryl said...

I did not know... but prayers are being sent your way from Rhode Island, my friend.

DawnW said...

Oh my goodness Heidi, I am so sorry you had to go through that. And that you now how to sit through the waiting game!! I will be praying for you and that you only receive good news! Hang in there. Dawn

Brantley said...

What a horror story! That sounds awful. Praying for good results!

Babylon said...

OMG it hit you right into your adam's apple!

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