here we go

for years i have been emotionally preparing myself for this.  when raising children, we live our life in phases ~ one ends, another begins. i knew that this phase would most likely be the hardest. {empty nest}  praise God we have several years before our nest is completely empty. but i know that the first empty chair at our dinner table will be the hardest.

for a mom that photographs almost everything, we have scrapbooks full of firsts. this year will come with a handful of lasts. the last year we will all live an entire calendar year under the same roof. the last 'back to school' picture of all three children together.

i predicted the emotional avalanche would hit on the first day of school.  i scheduled the morning off to cry for pete’s sake. i was not prepared for the landslide during a senior parent meeting.

the weekend had been a whirlwind of back to school preparations. quite a bit of it was spent harping on the son i plan to miss; wash your clothes, organize your closet, shave, and number on on the list, find “that smell” in your room! if i am type a, he is type z.

on sunday, bennett had a senior dinner. the parents would join them an hour later for a pep talk and check writing.  the moment our headmaster said “class of 2014”  it got real! just hearing this out load means it is happening.

my face went warm, a lump formed in my throat, the tears were welling.... not now! we were on the front row. 

 email is a sure fire way for me to switch gears. so i checked my email. think work. not my life in 180 days will no longer be the same.  i made it all the way home without crying. or talking. because talking would have made me start crying. 
after dinner,  i needed to find the picture of bennett on his first day of the first grade. perfect for a back to school post.

tonight of all nights, i knew better than to look through old photographs. just the sight of picture boxes was all it took. memories flooded my mind and the tears started to roll... for a good hour.  i never found the picture, i knew finding it would be like a needle in a haystack. but i closed the last box more convinced than ever how brief life is. 

years blur. 
time speeds by.

arms in the air!
senior year ~ here we go.

Living Life in the Lowcountry said...

From a momma who just dropped off her first born at college this weekend, I felt that way too at the beginning of the year. By the end, I was so ready for him to leave! I had heard that the little fights and bickering that goes on that last year were nature's way of making it easier to let go... I believe it! Of course I am sad, but I am so excited for him to start this new chapter in his life.

The 1st of May said...

Now I'm crying...Hang in there!!!

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