Monday, June 30, 2014

hi monday. i love you!

 i am still drooling over this blogger's camping trip to yellowstone. maybe i will lay off all the pool talk and ask jeff for an old airstream to fix up. that will make plane tickets look pretty enticing ;) it wouldn't work for a swimming pool. he's so against a pool that it would take asking to have another baby to get him to budge. an energetic infant at 50 years old, 12 13 17 more years of school tuition... now that might make a swimming pool look enticing. just working the system! unfortunately my husband runs household system :)

speaking of pools... a blogger that has me laughing this week: scary mommy i am now a follower. her post about pool moms was so funny because it was so true! like her, i met every single mother on her list. i may have fit into almost all categories at one time. but now, 40+ with teenagers, i am a pool mom in a completely different category. one that involves: embarrassing my children with my very presence. my kids walk by and pretend not to see me. except when they need money or a snack or to tattle on someone or just need a shoulder to complain on or a ride home.  


 here's a few categories from her post. hop over and you can read the rest. 

 Now that summer is finally, hopefully, for the love of all things hot and sunscreeny, here, we have been making the rounds at some popular pools in Boulder. Sometimes I find it fascinating to watch other people interact with their kids. This may mean that I don’t get out a whole lot.

Here are some variations of Moms that I have seen at the pool:
1. The Regulars: The swimming pool that you are at is their swimming pool, you just haven’t realized it yet. They come in small groups and set up shop at the prime sunny/shady spot with their matching fold-out chairs and their coordinated snacks and brightly colored towels and eye you a little suspiciously if they don’t recognize you. They are together. You are clearly not in their togetherness with your raggedy bath towels and your chocolatey-faced children.
3. The Fun Mom: This mom makes us all look bad and I don’t like her very much. She tickles her kid going down the slide EVERY TIME and she lets the kid ride around on her back even though they are clearly choking her and she encourages games of tag where she actually tries to catch them and everything. And she brings swim noodles for chrissakes. Swim noodles. Her kids look pretty smug too, as if they know they had done something pretty great in a previous life to earn Fun Mom.
4. The Phone Moms: We all need to talk at some point, but there are some moms that literally spend the whole time on the phone at the side of the pool. It’s impressive. Their child is eating other people’s snacks, using my kid as a floaty and clogging up the slide situation by trying to go up backwards and Phone Mom is completely clueless.
5. The Toddler plus New Infant Desperation Mom: She has a new baby snoozing at the side of the pool. She has a toddler wreaking havoc like a boss. She is lucky if her swimsuit is on in the right direction. She looks a little freaked out around the eyes. We’ve all been there. You may see her nodding off a bit as she sits down in the shallow end and then get startled awake when her toddler pokes her face with an errant swim noodle.
6. The Perfect Mom: Ugh. Almost as annoying as the Fun Mom. I look at Perfect Mom and mentally berate myself for not caring more about how I present myself to the world. I mean doing 1000 sit-ups a day to have abs like that couldn’t be that hard! And I could probably attempt to wear some sort of flowy beach cover-up and wedge sandals and bring actual beach towels. I could buy actual beach towels! Perfect Mom’s children even look like they have bathed in an actual tub in the last week. Not having to take a bath is half the reason we even come to the pool.

10. The Discipline Mom: She expects her children’s perfect behavior at all times. No pushing, no sliding out of turn, and for goodness sake don’t blow your nose in the pool like that kid (pointing at my kid). She has a lot of rules and there are a lot of time-outs on the side of the pool and she talks a lot about good and bad choices. But all I can think is, jeez, give the kid a break, they all like to splash an unsuspecting friend in the face once in awhile. It just feels good.
I have fit very snugly into all of these Mom categories at one time or another, depending on the day, or the amount of sleep that has been bequeathed to me by the children in my home. Well, except for Perfect Mom. But we all know that girl has something crazy locked up somewhere.
which one is my least favorite? definitely it's the phone mom. at least hide your phone in a paperback to appear that you're not sideline parenting and face-booking at the same time. not that i see anything wrong with that ;)

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